It's that time of the year when I hear folks talking about their New Year's Resolutions and the lists they plan to make of all the things they want to accomplish in the coming year, as well as the unfulfilled resolutions from the past year. I admit it, I too like making lists. I have my Shopping lists, weekly To-Do lists, the bigger Project lists, and of course my annual New Year’s Resolution List – which is more of a Yearly Goals list.
Many of those lists are extremely helpful in keeping my life organized and running smoothly. For example, my grocery list - lets face it, even when I take the list to the store chances are I still might forget something. Although not a perfect system, I’m certain it has saved me many trips back to the market. No, I have no intention of giving up that list.
Admittedly other lists of mine might just make me feel as if I’m organized but actually do very little to keep life efficiently progressing forward. I’ve certainly learned there is a huge difference between creating a list and actually getting those things done.
To be clear, I’m all in favor of good Goal Setting practices. When people set their aspirations down on paper, take the time to create a realistic structured plan on how to achieve them, and then actually put that plan into action – triumph usually follows. There are thousands of Goal Setting workshops and resources available – many of them very effective. But, whether it is a resolution to stop biting your nails, or the intention to be promoted to a specific job by the end of the year, it’s easy to fall into the trap of viewing our success as a person by whether or not we’ve reached our target by a given set of time.
Creating a New Year’s Resolution List and then falling short of meeting those goals may inadvertently cause a negative rebound. The danger of measuring our accomplishments in life by yearly increments, or other set markers of time, can actually make us feel worse about ourselves and what we’re capable of achieving. Without being aware of it, these manufactured time constraints become interpreted in our own mind as “the standard” for what and when we are supposed to have progressed to a particular place or status. Determining our value by whether or not we’ve reached a set of objectives based on another’s time table is a grave mistake that corrodes our life-force.
One more thing on this topic, it’s also important to be aware of the potential toward escapism. All this emphasis on what we resolve to do or not do by the end of next year may just be fueling our desire to escape the present. There are numerous pitfalls in doing that. For now I’ll just mention one; we forget to enjoy what we do have, now.
So instead of creating a similar style “goals to achieve” for the coming year, and then feeling badly next Dec 31st when I’ve barely stabbed at goal number 5) practice my French Lessons weekly, I think I’ll sit this year’s list making task aside and resolve to be a bit more resolutionless. Dare I say, I resolve to practice being more present with where I am right now.
Until next time, Bonne Annee!
